Scary Search Terms

Here’s a list of the strangest search terms that have lead a reader to my blog. To qualify, they need the words or phrases need to be completely unrelated to anything I’ve ever written about. These items are listed roughly normal-est to oddest, and exactly as logged by wordpress (quotes and all).

  • “william h macy” – Yeah, I did mention him in passing on one article… I guess it’s a slow news month for Mr. Macy. And I needed help beginning the list. ;)
  • humidity of food seasoning – I’ve never given much thought about the humidity of common food seasonings. How wet is my pepper? Trying… to… think… about… it… Nah, I still don’t care.
  • crazy shaped vegetables – More food madness! As soon as I find a gourd shaped like a bicycle, you’ll be the first to know!
  • why tourist do bad behavior – OK guys, clean up your act a bit overseas… Seriously, I wonder if this has anything to do with the “yobism” they’re experiencing in eastern Europe.
  • smoked 1 cigar and got cancer – Wow, talk about bad luck. Are you sure that’s all you were smoking?
  • baseball cap with long hippy hair – Starting to get a bit scarier… You just know that whatever picture this person finally found, it wound up printed out and taped to somebody’s whiteboard. Or maybe tied to a rock and thrown through a window. Either way, it was a gift. :)
  • everybody nobody somebody anybody – I’m pretty certain I qualify as at least one of those.
  • i want a tramp stamp – Thanks for sharing that with us! I know, I know, I did have a post that mentioned tramp stamps, but this was just too funny for me not give an honorary position on this list.
  • rants about people with long hair – Damn dirty hippies! :D That’s about all long-hair-ranting I have in me. If it wasn’t such a hassle, and a potential point of discrimination in the working world, I might still have long hair.
  • tourist tells good time eating in malays – Good times with a Malaysian-eating tourist? What?
  • “creepy japanese” – This one is pretty creepy. Creepier than any Japanese people I’ve ever met (which I’ve always found to be nice people).
  • internet toilet thought – This searcher was looking for a single thought about internet toilets, but he wasn’t sure which one. I don’t think I was able to help him out, because I have trouble putting in words what I think about internet enabled toilets.
  • tramp statistics – Somebody really would like to know all the scientific specifics about people living a fast an lose lifestyle. How on earth did they get to my blog?
  • ebook rice mother – I’m really not sure what to do with this one. I’m tempted to put the horns up ( \m/ ) and start head banging or comb the shelves at the video store looking for some wicked-cool retro blacksploitation film from the 90’s.
  • I used to be a bad person – Yes, you did, but now you’re reading Brian’s Random Thoughts. Consider yourself healed.
  • 8 ringgit dvd pirate – Arrr! I be a two dollar DVD pirate! Surrender yar movies! Arrr! And that’s all you get for two bucks. (Eight Ringgit, Malaysian currency, is approximately two bucks.)
  • TIED TO RAILROAD TRACK – Wow, this really has me worried. Hopefully the reader wasn’t actually tied to a railroad track, desperately seeking advice from my blog. I simply haven’t ever addressed the issue. Screaming would seem in order at that point. Sorry I couldn’t be of more service!
  • girl tied on railroad track – And it gets a bit scarier… and more specific…. why railroad tracks? Why this blog?
  • brian exercise games – If coolness was measured like vocal ranges, this search term would have a full 9 octaves of awesomeness. I am going leave the computer immediately and create an exercise game. It will involve shuttlecocks. That’s all I can divulge at this point.
  • I don’t want you I want your blood – Wow, and I’m used to just being wanted for my body. That just takes it to a whole new level! I guess I can’t say I you make me feel like a piece of meat!
  • im on acid – A new favorite! I just love that people on acid find their way to my blog. Hopefully it makes for a good trip and they leave comments! :)
  • im on acid get me out – Just when you thought the whole acid trip search couldn’t get better, Alice In Wonderland hits Google…
  • undead hat – Just when I thought that search terms were getting more normal (and boring), here comes the query for the undead… hat. This hat hungers for brains. And it’s one size fits all.

Have no fear, I will continue to update this page as the weirdness presents itself. I’ll leave comments open on this side page for a while for you to weigh in, and tell me what the weirdest terms you’ve used to find this blog.

4 Comments

  1. Nicole said,

    May 21, 2007 at 4:37 pm

    Awesome! I’ve been wanting to create a page like this on my site but your extra commentary makes this much better than anything I could come up with!

  2. Brian said,

    May 21, 2007 at 5:02 pm

    Hi Nicole,

    Thanks! I do owe a debt of gratitude to the scary people out there searching for strange things and that crazy bit of luck that brings them to my blog. But mostly, it has a lot to do with coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. For your safety, I can’t recommend the levels of caffeine that fuel this blog. (Though your experience with peri-peri sauce may come in useful.)

    On the other hand, you can always put a page up, list them, and see what sort of magic happens in the comments! :)

  3. babychaos said,

    November 13, 2007 at 12:54 pm

    Undead hat! Brilliant! I’m jealous. Crazy vegetables is quite strange too although if you really do want to see a gourd shaped like a bicycle there’s a site specially for that kind of thing. http://lovecarrots.wordpress.com I kid you not!

    Cheers

    BC

  4. Brian said,

    November 17, 2007 at 10:43 pm

    Excellent BC, a blog dedicated to carrots! Looks like another one for the feed reader!

    I need to get back in the habit of updating this list, I’ve seen some pretty funny ones come through recently… and sadly, I forgot to list them for posterity!

    Cheers,
    Brian


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