Fighting Momentum With Insane Friday Miscellany

Escape Graffiti - Lisbon, PortugalIt’s been a scary, fun, crazy and exhausting weekend. In keeping with the policies set forth in my post The Most Pointless Posts Ever, I make no apologies for my two-day blogging absence. Hey, a life not lived is not worth blogging about. You can quote me on that. (I’ll assume the check is in the mail.) But a blog at rest sometimes needs a bunch of random stuff to get moving again. And here that stuff is.

The Planned: Bachelor Party
The big planned event of the weekend was a Dave Nelson‘s bachelor party. I mention him by name so I can plug his photography website. Great guy, great photographer. (And since he didn’t invite me to the wedding, that’s the best gift I can give him! 🙂 )

Contrary to what you might expect, this event did not involve generous displays of tramp stamps bouncing in time to suggestive popular music with good bass lines. (My blog gets so much search engine love from tramp stamps ever since my 12 Undead Fashion Atrocities post, I just had to mention them again. 😈 ) The evening carried a lighter rating, an “R” for off-colored humor, beer and cigars, and horribly played pool. If I hadn’t been playing pool, we might have gotten away with a PG-13, but there you go.

We spent the evening at the Funny Farm Comedy Club in the ‘burbs of Atlanta (map to it). In spite of being kind of hard to locate, even when you’re standing right outside of it, it’s a pretty fun place. Pool tables, tons of arcade games, darts and a pretty large bar. Anyway, a twenty got us in to see three comedians, none of them I’d ever seen before. I would have known the headliner if I had been watching Last Comic Standing recently. Our main attraction, Ty Barnett (official website), was runner up on the program. I can see why, he was pretty funny. Here for your viewing pleasure is a clip of his performance on the aforementioned show:

To be honest, he was actually funnier live than this clip, but this happens to be the clip that was sent to me with the bachelor party invitation. He only told a couple of the jokes you see here, and he introduced some new material. (Or so he said. Hey, it made us feel special.) It looks like there’s quite a few other videos of him up on YouTube, so you can probably get a pretty good feel for his act.

Of course my favorite part of the evening was the cigars. Based on my growing reputation as a guy who knows a thing or two about cigars (it’s two things, exactly 🙂 ), I got to make recommendations on the cigars we should smoke. For about two minutes, I was a tobacconist, showing a friend through a large walk in humidor, advising on the price-to-quality ratio of several different brands. We wound up settling on the CAO Gold Robusto, which I just happened to review on this blog recently. The best part of all is that I got a free cigar out of it. (Now if I can just get CAO to start sending me cigars to review and recommend, I’ll be in heaven. That offer is also open to you Ashton… And you too Diamond Crown! 😀 )

The Unplanned: Bottle O’ Pills
I gotta be a bit careful with this part of the post. If it weren’t of a such a sensitive nature, I could give this post an awesomely catchy title. Exploitative, but it’d be catchy. And I’m passing up a huge opportunity for witty puns too.

All kidding aside, an old friend of mind who as been battling a substance abuse issue made an attempt on his/her own life. (That’s right, not telling you who it is, or what the person’s gender is.) At least, that’s what it looks like now. It involved a bottle of pills, the realization that a mistake was made, and a quick early morning trip to the hospital. My involvement was all phone and email. I was in the loop just enough to know that something was really wrong and have a good idea what had happened, but not enough to know how bad things were.

It was only short minutes before the bachelor party began that I was assured that this friend was both in reasonably good condition and that steps had been by his/her family to address my friend’s serious and worsening problem.

The Secretly Planned: The Layoff
Don’t worry, your humble blog-espondent is still gainfully employed. However, the same can’t be said about a large group of people I know and occasionally work with. On Friday, my favorite place to contract was officially bought out by a competitor for their non-human assets. As a clever person, you know that means that axe didn’t actually fall that day. It was raised into prime hacking position in preparation. The fun part is that the axe-ees knows this too and are now trying to figure out when it’ll begin lopping heads. But they have to pretend they’re not spending the all their remaining employment time speculating about severance packages and complaining. (I feel a pro-consulting, anti-salary post coming on… 😈 )

The weird thing about this past Friday was that aside from a little additional stress and a shortness of time to sleep, relax or blog, I was completely unscathed. It was as though I was in the eye of a vicious shit-storm, with cows and double-wide trailers circling wildly all around, but I was standing in a quiet field of butterflies smoking a cigar. Without burn issues. I guess it was kind of like being in shock, except without the life-threatening injury.

Anyway back in the more literal world, I actually don’t anything to complain about. And I’m not. I’m just tired.

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