Wanna Read This Blog? I Need To See Some ID

Well it’s official. This is an adult blog. If you wanna keep reading, you gotta prove to me your at least 17. Or you have a parent looking over your shoulder. (If you’re under 17, you probably do, you just don’t realize it.) For now, I’ll assume your ID is in the mail.

Brian's Random Thoughts, Rated R

I figured there was a good chance that I’d get at least a PG-13. But I didn’t get the rating because of the frequent discussion of cigars and other tobacco products, as I would have expected. I got the naughty rating because of the use of the following words:

  • “hell” – 4 times.
  • “asshole” – 2 times.
  • “pissed” – 1 time. (Which shouldn’t count because I meant “drunk”, damn it!)

(Of course, now my ratings will be even worse. Damn it! Shit!) So apparently, it’s not a very sophisticated rating system, it’s pretty much a website crawler with a dictionary of naughty words. (I could make one. πŸ’‘ And I might just if I have the time. Hell yeah.)

But you know you wanna try it out on your blog anyway. You’ll be pissed if you don’t! You can find the blog rater here. And you know, if your blog is coming in a little low on the naughtiness scale, you don’t have to be an asshole about it. It’s pretty easy thing to rectify. (Hell yeah, damn it! πŸ˜‰ ) Enjoy!

(And apologies about this Tourettes post. I swear future posts won’t have so much damn swearing in them. I just want to see if I can get to NC-17.)

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  1. Tiffany said,

    July 9, 2007 at 5:49 pm

    Aw, damn it. And here I thought your cigars were going to be inching into porn territory. Hell, sometimes a cigar ISN’T just a cigar.

  2. Brian said,

    July 9, 2007 at 5:59 pm

    Hey again Tiffany.

    Cigars… inching… into porn territory. Sounds like an in-ur-endo to me! LOL! πŸ˜€

    I better retest my blog, I think we may have just arrived at the porn plateau.

  3. JoeDrinker said,

    July 9, 2007 at 8:00 pm

    Weird. I still have a level of “G”, and that’s only because it found the word “dead” once someplace on my site, and I know I’ve dropped more bombs than that. How does it know I wasn’t talking about a dead pixel, or dead air, or dead batteries?

    Although, I happily give them to you though, since you’re evidently going to hell in a handbasket.

  4. Brian said,

    July 9, 2007 at 11:12 pm

    Hey JD,

    Yeah, it’s weird, I tested my blog twice, and it found different naughty words each time. I got an R both times, thus proving it’s not easy to be X-Rated. I kinda want to submit one of those porn blogs and see how they rate. Wouldn’t it be funny if a blog full of dirty pictures rated a G because the words “kill”, “damn” and “pissed” didn’t show up anywhere? Ironically, I submitted a blog that commonly features the F-bomb, but it only got a PG. Hail to the king, baby! πŸ˜‰

  5. stinkie said,

    July 10, 2007 at 9:08 pm

    Shit, mine got a G rating! What the hell! Guess I need to get busy working on that.

  6. Brian said,

    July 11, 2007 at 11:25 am

    Hey stinkie,

    Or you could just wait, sooner or later they’re bound to add the words “tobacco”, “cigarette” and “cigar” to their naughty words dictionary. Once that happens, all cigar bloggers will be at least R rated… kinda like they’re doing in the movies these days. Fill a guy full of holes? PG. Smoke a fine cigar? Dear god, R! R!

  7. stinkie said,

    July 13, 2007 at 5:41 pm

    Yep, one member (might have been you) said they tried to visit an online cigar shop on a company server and it came up blocked, reason? “This site has been blocked, you tried to visit a porn or tobacco site” . Something like that. hmmm

  8. Brian said,

    July 13, 2007 at 5:51 pm

    ‘Twas I, I think. (I wonder if the word “twas” will affect my rating… it’s very close to “twat”…)

    I put up a post back in May entitled Tobacco, The New Pornography, that pretty much matches your description.

    Given the new pressure to rate movies harshly due to exposure to the marvels of fine tobacco leaf, I figured my blog would almost certainly be X rated. I guess they haven’t worked that into the rating system yet. (Though “gun” is in there, I’ve found.)

  9. stinkie said,

    July 15, 2007 at 2:20 pm

    The word “Twas” is used in fairy tales, using that word along with your new NC-17 rating might make for the “man” to put your site on a watch list.

  10. Brian said,

    July 15, 2007 at 11:08 pm

    Whoah, I never considered that stinkie… that’s a scary thought! 😯 But a brilliant random connection! Which is perfect for this blog… πŸ™‚

  11. Carolyn said,

    December 28, 2007 at 1:20 pm

    Why did you say “apologies about this Tourettes post. I swear future posts won’t have so much damn swearing in them.” That pretty much perpetuates a stereotype about Tourette’s syndrome. My son has it and he doesn’t swear. Some “tics” are vocal, like throat clearing, and others are motor, like shoulder twitching or head swiveling. In any case, he’s a smart boy, just kind of “ticcy”.

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